March 2, 2021

Good morning everyone, how is everybody on this fine morning. Today Is Tuesday March 2, 2021. I say it is a fine morning because when I looked out I saw pink sky that to me means a beautiful day. As I opened the blinds , I can’t stand having them closed or shades down I need to see outside. Off to the west the moon is still out then blue sky finally the pink through the trees, it gave me a good feeling so I did my morning exercises with that view and then sat down to talk still admiring the sky.
As you know at night I have my glass of wine and watch tv as I read or write or do something but I’m always half listening to the show on the television. Last night we streamed last weeks episode of “ this is us “ I like that show sometimes the characters get a little whinny fo r me but I still enjoy it. The episode was about having children and bringing them home for the first time. This caught my attention and I didn’t do anything else but watch, because to me that was a very scary event being alone with the baby for the first time. I admire women for being mothers I feel it is one of the hardest jobs there is, this little child has grown in you for 9 months, so it is really an extension of you and a bond is formed really never to be broken. That’s why I feel when your mother leaves this earth a part of you also does.
Now as a man, and we all love our fathers to death for the most part but to me the role is different, you also must realize I am a product of a whole different generation and I was caught in the changes that we see in the fathers role. Another favorite show “ call the midwife” shows in the 50’s and 60’s and hundreds of years before there was no place for the father in the birthing procedure, he had to wait in an outer room or waiting room and many times heard the screams of his wife. I don’t think I could have withstood that. It was hard enough being there and watch her go through that ordeal. As I mentioned the other day for Amanda’s birthday when I saw her I know I had to support and take care of this baby and for centuries that was the role of fathers to provide for their families as a child that is what I was taught then the 70’s brought changes but that mentally is ingrained in my generations head. Last night brought tears to my eyes, one , the nurse when leaving the hospital tells Randall the baby has his eyes, later while talking alone to the baby he says so you have my eyes, and someday in children and grandchildren those eyes will appear again. Now that hit home to me because Rocco has my eyes, the same color blue, so this assures me they will show up again in another generation and you know how I feel about that. The second scene Kevin heard the twins crying when goes to the room he sees his dead father who he admired above all holding the babies , they talk about fatherhood and Jack the father says I was also afraid of being a new father, I was afraid I would be a lousy father like mine and you are afraid you will not be the father I was . But you have to be who you are and you will be a good father. As a father I accepted the new ways I went to every appointment, there for the delivery I wanted to be part of everything and I was and still am , they can’t get rid of me that fast. When Justin was born the hospital suffered a blackout for the night so the fathers had to stay all night and help in the morning when I was leaving I met Dr. La Conti , the pediatrician in the hall we talked about the night , as he said goodbye , he said to me I’m going to circumcise the baby now do you want to come. Now I know in the Jewish faith they have a bris and it is a beautiful tradition and celebration and I had attended them but I never stayed in the room. But I said yes, as he performed the procedure I held that little hand that is something I will always carry forever, that private moment. Now I don’t know if I was the best father but I tried to do the best I could. Seeing them I think I was okay. Fathers today are lucky they can be in all parts of their child’s life don’t not do it. Don’t ever be afraid to hug too much, spoil too much, kiss too much, play too much, give to much, praise too much. After all they are an extension of you. Love them the best you can, you will reap benefits for generations to come.
Now it is nice out get out and get air in your lungs, enjoy something and have a great day. Til Tomorrow!